Update on Ethan's school days

First I need to say thank you to Sharon for listening to me ramble and vent on the phone last night, with my boys being loud in the background! You are such an awesome friend, listener and know right where I'm coming from. Plus we have the same perspective on things (people?) ;). Oh and I listened to your message and you are too sweet. I don't always think I'm doing a good job as a mom but for someone on the outside to tell me I'm an incredible mother, I must be doing something right! So thanks again, Sharon!

When I went to pick Ethan up from school yesterday, his teacher asked if we could have a meeting to talk about some things, ways to help him that worked at his old school and at home. She also said to him that she wished there was a way for him to have someone just for him with him all the time, one on one. (hmm, Sharon knows my thoughts on this one and how that could soooo easily be achieved, lol).

I, of course, started getting emotional, crying and whatnot. I took the boys home and Maddy sat with them so I could discuss some things with his teacher. Basically she said he's been shouting at her when he doesn't want to do things, he stays in his seat instead of going to group/circle time, and things of that nature. Now I totally agree that he should not yell at the teacher, or any adult for that matter so we came up with a plan for that. He loses a color each time he shouts/yells at her during the day and if he gets all the way to red he will get a red flag (basically a demerit) and after 5 of those (you can only get 1 a day) he will get a detention just like the other kids would.

The main reason she is concerned about him not joining the group is that she doesn't know for sure if he is getting the lesson they are learning or not. I agree he should listen to the teacher and do what he is supposed to but if he is not comfortable with large group activities (which he is not) then why not let him sit at his desk as long as he getting something from the lesson. The easiest way to tell would be ask him some questions regarding the story or whatever was talked about.

She is going to slide his desk a little away from the "table" of desks to give him his own private space since the sometimes loud noise levels get to him still, at times. Also he has a place he can go to in his classroom to sit and calm down if he gets upset.

Ethan did well in gym according to the gym teacher, only getting a little upset (she thinks the reasons were) when he couldn't do or felt he couldn't do something, or was scared to do it, but then when they went to the next activity he immediately calmed down. Also, even though the gym/cafeteria/multi-purpose room is very loud, because of the acoustics of the room, it didn't seem to bother him!

So we figured out those couple of things to try for him, along with calmly at his eye level talking to him when he's upset. They mentioned the special education Catholic 1-8 school that educates "the child with unique learning needs" (but its a lot more expensive and I keep thinking, is that really where he needs to be??). Also they are having a group come in that works with children with special needs at all the diocese schools (there is no spec. ed. at this school but there are children who have "minor" learning disabilities - I truly do not like that word, just because someone learns differently doesn't mean its a disability!!!!) and helps the teachers and principals come up with different ideas to help the children, so they will evaluate Ethan and watch him, I guess over a couple different days, to see what he's doing, how he responds and how to help him to respond differently and how to have the teacher help him with things.

Fast forward a day...

Today was school Mass. I was so nervous because I know how Sundays go and I didn't warn the teacher at all. He's not bad but he can get frustrated with all the sitting, standing, kneeling, praying, listening, singing. But I didn't want the teacher to have any preconceived notions on how he *may* act and possibly cause the action by being too "there" with him. I've even caught myself doing that a few times, making the situation worse by trying to remind him to listen, thinking because he's looking down or whatever that he's not (typical reasoning says he's not because he's not looking, but I'm not so sure anymore), and then upsetting him and causing an outburst of emotion.

Alex and I decided we were going to go to Mass too and Alex even got mad when he thought we wouldn't be going because we weren't leaving at the same time as Ethan and Maddy were. We made it to the church 20 minutes early and waited. All the students walked over from the school and Mass went smoothly. I half-expected to hear Ethan's little voice cry out something, anything, but nope, not a sound! Alex, on the other hand, was quite restless, fairly quiet but very wiggly and wanted to leave about 10 minutes before Mass was over! Oh and of course, when he saw his Aunt Maddy walk in, before I noticed her and could stop him, he yelled out in his adorable preschooler voice "Hi Maddy! I love you!" as loudly as was physically possible. Of course all the other 7th graders laughed and oohed and aahed (along with the other parents, kids, and older folks that were attending Mass today!).

After Mass, we walked out of the back side doors of the church and down the sidewalk and Ethan's class was walking out the front side doors, so we stopped to let them pass. Ethan saw us, waved, stayed in line and said "Hi Mom! See you at 2:30 by the bridge!" and kept going. I looked over at the aide and she gave a thumbs up and mouthed to me that he did great in Mass.

When we picked them up from school and got home, I checked Ethan's bag and saw he had a "yellow" day which means he got in trouble once. He first told me he wasn't listening in the hallway and then later told me he yelled once at his teacher and she took him in the hallway, so I'm not totally sure what happened. But only one color so not too bad. I could not believe all the papers I had to fill out for him today, releases for internet use, photographs, and directory, gym shirt order form, hot lunch order form, plus they are having fall soccer signup's so I asked Ethan and he really, really wants to do that. I told him that he can play, BUT if we pay the fees, buy the ball, shin guards, shorts, pants, socks and his coach gets him a jersey, he has to play the whole season. After the season is over if he doesn't like it, then he doesn't have to do it anymore, but its a commitment (I didn't use that word, but made it clear to him). I don't know, maybe that's too harsh. He really does want to play, been talking about it all summer and bringing it up to me, so hopefully it will be worth it. We shall see. Especially cause I had to pay the $45 fee today (there's a $15 late fee tomorrow), spent $10 on shin guards, and $20 on a size 4 soccer ball (I know, I probably could have found one for less, I will probably actually go look at Wal-mart tomorrow morning, since they didn't have youth size yellow soccer socks at Dick's where we got the other stuff!). First practice is next Wednesday at 5:30 for an hour and then every Wednesday thereafter. Games, I don't know yet but I'm sure I will post lots of pics of the practices and games!

Hey I just realized something. If he likes soccer, and plays, I already have the stereo-typical mini-van, I really will be a "soccer mom". Uh oh. What have I done? LOL!!

All right. Off to bed. Early morning but I'm off duty, my M-I-L has off work tomorrow, so not only is she driving them, she's picking them up from school too! and if Ethan has a good day, they are going for soft-serve ice cream. OOOOHHH I'm soooo jealous, chocolate soft-serve is probably my favorite thing ever! Plus Sharon, Aidan and Brennan are coming over to play with us (well, the boys will play and Sharon and I will visit, silly!) tomorrow afternoon. So excited! YAY! Ok, eyelids are getting heavy, must sleep now, after I transfer the laundry over and before I become a zombie...